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Love in the Age of Trump

Millennials Working for Trump Administration are Undateable

Love in the Age of TrumpDating in Trump’s America seems to be getting more complicated with the potential dating pool being cut in half.

In a feature piece on the cover of Politico magazine, written by Ben Schrekinger and Daniel Lippman, the pair interviewed over 30 Millennials who are, or were working as White House staff. The duo not only found that liberals are opposed to dating across party lines, but if you work in the Trump administration, expect to get an unpleasant earful before someone swipes left to ghost you, and they will.

The story, Young Trumpies Hit D.C….And D.C. Hits them Right Back went viral, and it was of no surprise to me.

I’ve been writing about the collision of love and politics for several years, and as an online dating expert and relationship coach, I’ve heard the woes from singles, with politics being the biggest deal-breaker today. As each day goes on, the anger continues to grow among singles.

In the Politico piece, they reveal that young staffers are rationing their information flow when meeting a potential date; meaning they hold off on having “the talk” to avoid an early confrontation.

“I’ve still been able to hook up with women,” says a male former White House staffer. “But I know that I need to be careful about broaching the Trump stuff. I just know that going in, I need to be able to get it out at the right time and not get it out too early to the point where it’s like, ‘Hey, I worked for Trump, you should stop talking to me,’ but late enough in that eventually they know that there is this information floating out there that I worked for this guy and hopefully you have now seen that I’m not a horrible person and we can go further with this.”

But are liberals giving White House staffers or even any former employees of Trump a chance?

RELATED: Dating Sites Weigh in on Politics

Not at all. Even on my Facebook page, when I ask for opinions on dating in the age of Trump, and if singles would consider dating across party lines, it results in friends of mine posting hate comments to other friends of mine, with some even unfriending me because I posted the question.

In my upcoming book, “Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships,” I spent two years interviewing singles on their attitudes about the intersection of politics and love. The results have gotten more divisive as time goes on.

When we’re living in a time where we’re watching children ripped away from their parents and the possibility of women’s rights going backward, it’s hard for people to be quiet. The issues about humanity have become life-or-death. I applaud OkCupid’s partnership with the ACLU, and have the “Right to Love” badge proudly featured on my profile.

Will this trend lead to the death of romance? Not for a minute. Politics is front and center, and perhaps it took someone like Donald Trump for all of us to look at what’s important to us, and to choose a partner that feels the same way.

Follow @LoveAgeintheAgeofTrump on Facebook and Instagram.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the author up the upcoming book, Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships, and as a political dating expert she’s been coaching on how to singles navigate the challenging waters while dating in the Trump era.

Dating Sites Weigh in on Politics


If you’re wondering if dating has gotten complicated since the election, you’re absolutely right.

It’s been one-year since Donald Trump took office, and singles are still dealing with the big political elephant in the room, our commander-in-chief and his tweets.

During the election, and in the aftermath since Trump became president, talking about politics has become critical when dating someone new, and to those within their existing relationships.

I recently wrote an essay, Can Love Survive Trump, where I revealed my big confession on how I struggled in my relationship with my long-term love. He had strong and vocal opposing views from mine when it came to politics.

As a dating coach, I believe I provide good dating advice on how to navigate the singles scene, even with politically opposite views. I also really believe in having a good debate. While coaching others on how to talk about politics on a date, I found I didn’t take my advice and kept silent about my complicated relationship status. I now feel liberated, and continue to coach and write about the great political divide.

Politics has become so divisive in dating, that conversations that start at the breakfast table end up on opposite sides in the bedroom. They often no longer include, “Sweet dreams” and a hug.

When one person walks in the Women’s March wearing a pink hat, and the other is jumping for joy about the new tax reform, it’s clear that talking about differing political views need to happen on the first date, if not sooner.

Dating Sites Weigh In

In a Match Singles in America study, they showed that talking about politics on a first date will result in a 91% chance of putting the second one on the calendar.

OkCupid found that 50% of its users won’t date someone with opposing political views. The site also found that users mentioning political words in their profiles increased by more than 1000% from 2015 to 2017.

OkCupid Trump

The site, known for asking provocative questions, has 19 questions about politics. “Trump?” received the most answers, with 74% responding “hell no” and only 4% answering “hell yes.” The most answered question was “Should guns be allowed in schools?” The most polarizing question is, “Did Russia hack the last US election?”

Mobile dating app profiles now include political terms, or instructions to “swipe left if you vote for Trump,” or “swipe right if you think Trump’s making America great again.”

Tinder Politics Dating Deal Breakers

Tinder states that 71% of their users won’t date a Trump supporter. Their Modern Dating Myths, released in April of 2017 showed, “Opposing political views were getting more left swipes.” Nine out of 10 of my dating coaching clients said that having similar political views with their dates are important to them.

Coffee Meets Bagel tells me their poll of 1320 members showed that the majority, 70%, who are Democrats said politics was impacting their dating lives, as compared to 43% of Republican singles.

Plenty of Fish conducted several surveys on politics and dating in 2016 and 2016 and offered some promising news.

POF found while the current political climate is tense, it’s starting to lighten up. They found that less than 1% of singles used the terms “Trump” or “Republican” or “Democrat” in their profiles. They also said that 90% of people had not broken up with someone over political views or party affiliation since the election and recommended not talking about politics on a first date.

Experts Weigh in on Trump and Politics

I spoke with Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Science Officer at Match, who said, “If singles feel very strongly about their political views, they should add it to their profiles.”

CNN Political Contributor and KABC Radio co-host John Phillips agrees with Fisher. “If both people are passionate and care about politics a great deal, it could be a problem,” said Fisher. “But then the relationship is probably doomed anyway.”

Dr. Fisher’s research indicates that people gravitate towards people who share their values. “For couples who are polar opposite politically, they just have to agree to disagree and find a way to respect each other,” Fisher said.

“People are going to stay strong in their positions because we aren’t talking about how you butter your toast,” said Fisher. “Things with the Dreamers and the immigrants is real and taps into basic values.”

Deal breakers for singles used to include height, smoking, and religion. They’ve been replaced with politics as a top deal breaker, with singles feeling more comfortable dating someone with same political views.

Phillips, who identifies as Republican, tells me that politics is more critical than ever in today’s dating world. “It’s more important than it used to be because the news has essentially become one endless talk show about politics,” said Phillips.

He believes politically charged opposite couples can co-exist in Trump’s America. “If Dodger fans can date Giants fans without the relationship ending in a 911 call, Trump and Clinton supporters can co-exist without domestic violence,” Phillips said.

Are we heading to a point where we can agree to disagree over an appetizer and enjoy crème brûlée for dessert? I sure hope so.

“There used to be water cooler topics. Now there’s one water cooler topic: politics,” adds Phillips.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the author up the upcoming book, Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships, and as a political dating expert she’s been coaching on how to singles navigate the challenging waters while dating in the Trump era.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram